Happy Pride Month!
June is here and that means we have a whole month to shout out our pride in the millions of LGBTQ+ family, friends, and communities around the world. All of us at Nysa Therapy are hardcore devoted supporters of LGBTQ+ people. There is a reason for this. Dedication to LGBTQ+ rights and dignity is not only morally and politically correct, it is also the proper attitude of psychotherapy. Let me tell you why.
Nysa Therapy is committed to healing personality disorder. Personality disorder is sometimes referred to as a “disorder of the self.” To heal personality disorder you must help your patient to stop being their disordered self and instead become their “true self.” Once this happens, personality problems go away and so do associated problems such as depression, anxiety, addiction, compulsions, etc. Deep and complete change can happen when a patient becomes who they truly are.
When LGBTQ+ people are in denial, closeted, in hiding, trying to be straight, or pretending to be straight they’re going against their true self and cannot help but have a personality disorder. They will also struggle if they are rejected or even merely tolerated by their families. At Nysa Therapy it is our job to take away all these efforts by our patients and their families to prevent them from being who they truly are. We must help them be their true selves.
A person’s true self has many parts. These parts are mostly inborn, natural aspects of identity. One part might be shy, another part passionate, another part curious about astronomy, another part hates spicy food, etc. Two parts of the true self important to all of us are gender identity and sexual identity. Discovering the truth about our sexual and gender identity is discovering two parts of our inborn true self.
We agree with that renowned psychologist, Lady Gaga, who says “Baby you were born this way!”
The aspects of identity that make a person lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, queer, or other are mostly inborn; they are parts of the true self. Being inborn they cannot and should not be changed by therapy. It is a moral and ethical outrage that some therapists are still trying to make people straight by using therapy techniques.
But, it is also wrong to try and help LGBTQ+ people and their families merely accept the fact of who they are. Everybody’s true self is glorious. However ugly and twisted a person can be while living with a personality disorder all of that goes away when their true self arrives. It is glorious. When someone who is LGBTQ + comes out to themselves and the world it is glorious. When they shed that old pretend self and become who they were meant to be it is…glorious!
It’s important to help people accept the many difficulties of life. It’s important to help them accept cancer, divorce, death, unemployment, etc. These difficulties get worse if you hate or deny them. You are much better off learning to accept them. But, being LGBTQ+ is not a curse, a disease, a difficulty; it is not something to be accepted. Being LGBTQ+ is a part of the true self, it is glorious. At Nysa Therapy we say “Forget acceptance; we celebrate the real true you!”